For ordinary sins

White Bread

For erotic sins

French Bread

For particularly dark sins

Pumpernickel

For complex sins

Multi-Grain

For twisted sins

Pretzels

For tasteless sins

Rice Cakes

For sins of indecision

Waffles

For sins committed in haste

Matzoh

For sins of chutzpah

Fresh Bread

For substance abuse

Stoned Wheat

For use of heavy drugs

Poppy Seed

For petty larceny

Stollen

For committing auto theft

Caraway

For timidity/cowardice

Milk Toast

For ill-temperedness

Sourdough

For silliness, eccentricity

Nut Bread

For not giving full value

Shortbread

For jingoism, chauvinism

Yankee Doodles

For excessive irony

Rye Bread

For unnecessary chances

Hero Bread

For telling bad jokes/puns

Corn Bread

For war-mongering

Kaiser Rolls

For dressing immodestly

Tarts

For causing injury to others

Tortes

For lechery and promiscuity

Hot Buns

For promiscuity with gentiles

Hot Cross Buns

For racist attitudes

Crackers

For sophisticated racism

Ritz Crackers

For being holier than thou

Bagels

For abrasiveness

Grits

For dropping in without notice

Popovers

For over-eating

Stuffing

For impetuosity

Quick Bread

For indecent photography

Cheesecake

For raising your voice too often

Challah

For pride and egotism

Puff Pastry

For sycophancy, ass-kissing

Brownies

For being overly smothering

Angel Food Cake

For laziness

Any long loaf

For trashing the environment

Dumplings